


The Ice Is Closing In and Nothing Will Remain We Took What We Could Get and We Burned It Anyway

by orphan_account



Series: They Say Write What Scares You [1]
Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - High School, America AU, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Gen, Gun Violence, Kinda, Minor Character Death, Multi, Other, School Shootings, ateez and dream are side characters, how do you tag, it’s from his POV at least, ive reread this like 30 times if there's a typo ill cry, jeongin centric, skz - Freeform, skz au, they say write what scares you, they're all foreign exchange students
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-07
Updated: 2020-02-07
Packaged: 2021-02-28 00:20:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22594675
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: When Jeongin hears the first gunshot go off he's filled with extreme terror and his only thought is, "I'm going to die at fifteen".Title from Dark Days by PUP
Relationships: Bang Chan & Yang Jeongin | I.N, Han Jisung | Han & Yang Jeongin | I.N, Hwang Hyunjin & Yang Jeongin | I.N, Kim Seungmin & Yang Jeongin | I.N, Kim Woojin & Yang Jeongin | I.N, Lee Felix & Yang Jeongin | I.N, Lee Minho | Lee Know & Yang Jeongin | I.N, Seo Changbin & Yang Jeongin | I.N, Yang Jeongin | I.N/Everyone
Series: They Say Write What Scares You [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1625821
Comments: 6
Kudos: 56





	The Ice Is Closing In and Nothing Will Remain We Took What We Could Get and We Burned It Anyway

“ **Active shooter! Active shooter! This is not a drill!** ” “Get down! Everyone get down! Get against the wall now!” Jeongin’s teacher is frantic as she grabs a piece of black paper set aside specifically for this reason (and doesn’t that just leave a bitter taste in Jeongin’s mouth) one of his classmates is crying (most of them are). It’s Chenle, a foreign exchange student like Jeongin, he wants to comfort him but what can he say?

Jeongin’s teacher then whispers something that makes his heart feel like it’s gotten ripped out and stomped on, “Text your parents, and then put your phone on silent.” With trembling fingers Jeongin gets out his phone. He thinks of his beautiful family back in Korea who thinks he’s happy and healthy and chokes back a cry, slowly he types out, “Active shooter. I love you.” He has the brief thought to text his hyung but brushes the thought away as soon as it comes (that would be putting all of them at risk) then he has this terrible moment where he realizes he’s a sitting duck (they all are). Their classroom is in the middle of the school with no windows, no way to escape. They’d have to make a break for it and hope for the best. The intercom has gone dead so no one knows what’s going on anymore. Jeongin looks down at his phone and sees a string of texts from his mom all more frantic than the last, with a heavy heart he powers his phone off (he needs to preserve the battery he wasted at lunch laughing with his friends, and isn’t it crazy to think that was less than an hour ago) he slides his phone in his back pocket and lets his head fall back against the wall. He started crying at some point he realizes dully as he feels the wetness on his cheeks. God, he hopes his hyungs are okay. 

Jeongin sits idle for a few minutes before he thinks fuck this. He’s pretty sure most of the school has already been evacuated and looks to the left, making eye contact with Chenle, the chinese boy has tear tracks on his face but looks fairly resolute so Jeongin grabs his hand. Suddenly there’s loud knocking on the door, “SWAT OPEN UP!” Jeongin’s teacher hesitantly peeks through the black curtain before opening the door.

When Jeongin gets out the first thing he does is desperately look for his hyungs. He runs up to a shaken-looking Jongho (a boy from a few of his hyungs’ classes). “Have you seen my hyungs?!” “No, have you seen mine?!” when Jeongin shakes his head they both sprint away to find their respective friends, Chenle is still being dragged along by Jeongin so Jeongin is jeered harshly when the boy suddenly stops, “Gege... “ Renjun doesn’t say anything and accepts Chenle into his arms then he addresses Jeongin, “Hyunjin is right there,” he points but Jeongin only half sees him because he’s already sprinting towards his hyung. Hyunjin meets him halfway and picks him up, “My baby,” he murmurs (if it was any other time Jeongin would be offended), “have you seen the others?” Jeongin tearfully shakes his head from where he’s still halfway held off the ground. Hyunjin smiles shakily then, “It’s okay, hyungie will solve it. Call your parents okay?” Jeongin feels awful but in the frantic search for his friends he had forgotten his parents, shakily he gets his phone out and turns it on. Immediately he’s flooded with what must be hundreds of messages from his mother so he taps on her contact. The call connects in a second. “Eomma,” Jeongin’s voice breaks and he has to take a moment to compose himself, “I-I’m okay. And so is Hyunjin hyung. But we don’t know about the others,” he can hear his mom sobbing on the other end of the call as she reassures his father and brothers he’s okay, “I-I need to go so I can search for my hyungs, I’ll call you tonight. I love you,” and with that he hangs up the phone. 

It takes them five minutes to find Woojin and Chan. They’re holding hands and crying, “Oh thank God, we found you,” Chan literally picks Jeongin straight off of the ground completely ignoring how Chan is shorter than his dongsaeng. Woojin is squeezing Hyunjin so hard he must be in pain but none of them complain. They all flinch when they hear another gunshot go off. “Where were you guys?” Chan asks. Jeongin mentions the class he was in and Hyunjin explains he was in the courtyard already. Chan and Woojin nod, “We were together and in the cafeteria for a science project when the first gunshot went off and because it’s at the front of the school we ran. We wanted to go looking for you but our teacher wouldn’t let us. So we started looking out here. Have you seen any of the others?” and Jeongin’s breathing falters because he’d thought-”We thought you’d seen them!” Hyunjin exclaims breathlessly and watching the expression on his hyung’s faces was almost as bad as not knowing where the rest were. 

They all look up when they see a group of students being led out of the building, Jeongin’s heart is desperately trying to beat out of his chest. _Please be one of his hyungs._ He feels tears pour down his cheeks as he hears a deep voice exclaim, “CHRIS!” He sees his hyung start running and follows after him as fast as he can with Woojin and Hyunjin right behind him. He sees Woojin grasp Minho’s hand and feels Chan try to pull him into a hug but he’s distracted. He takes off running as his hyungs yell behind him. He doesn’t even think before he leaps onto Seungmin. Seungmin catches him and Jeongin realizes dully he’s crying. They circle up and Chan asks if they’re all okay before asking where they were after he gets confirmation. 

“I was in the choir room. Um, I had a free period so, I-uh-” here Seungmin breaks off to take some deep breaths before continuing, “Me and S-Soobin were practicing for-for our Christmas c-concert. It was just us and the teacher. The gunshot was so c-close. S-soobin started to cry and our teacher told us that he loved us and was proud of us. Hyung, I thought-I thought,” here he breaks off and begins to sob openly, Chan gently takes him into his arms and croons to him like one might do to a baby while still holding Felix with his other hand. Hyunjin has his hands tightly wrapped around Jeongin while holding Minho’s hand. Minho is being hugged by Woojin but has his hand tightly intertwined with Felix’s. They’re all touching each other in some way or another. Woojin turns to Minho after a few seconds, “F-Felix and I-we were in the dance studio,” here he pauses to rub his face roughly on Woojin’s shirt, “It w-was us and Wooyoung a-and Yeosang,” here he pauses to break off and everyone’s fear spikes. _Minho doesn’t cry._ “Our dance teacher barricaded the d-door but it d-didn’t matter. The bastard shot the fucking handle. He c-came in and Mr. Hughes got in-in front of h-him. He tried to r-reason with him. But it didn’t matter. He looked Mr. Hughes dead in the eyes and shot him right in the f-face. There weren’t a lot of u-us in there so I tried to get everyone behind me b-but the others were on the other-the other side of the room so I c-could only block Felix. I-it was _awful,_ hyung. He walked over to Yeosang a-and Wooyoung and h-he shot them. And then-he just _left_ them there. Hyung how could he-how could he do that?! Then he walked away like-like it was n-nothing. I tried to keep Yeosang and Wooyoung awake, I promise hyung I did! B-but I couldn’t. W-wooyoung told me to t-tell his family he lo-loves them. Yeosang asked me to tell his friends he was s-sorry. I c-couldn’t save them h-hyung. By the t-time the SWAT team came in all of them- Mr. Hughes, Yeosang, Wooyoung- a-all of them were d-de-” here Minho finally breaks off to freely sob forcing Woojin (and the rest of them) to the ground as his legs give out. Jeongin thinks of Jongho who was so desperate in his search for his hyungs, and then he thinks of the two hyungs he still doesn’t know the whereabouts of and feels even sicker. 

It’s another ten minutes before anything happens. **“Suspect is apprehended and in custody. I repeat suspect is apprehended and in custody. Please reunite with your families and head home.”** Jeongin looks around desperately for Changbin and Jisung. _Where are they?!_ Nothing happens for another minute or two. And then Jeongin sees stretchers being wheeled out. He gasps as he recognizes something. He thinks he sees Changbin’s shoes. He recognizes them because he’d told his hyung he was stupid for wearing two different colored shoes this morning (and he feels sick as he realizes those may be the last words he ever says to one of his favorite people) without waring he darts up and the rest are forced to follow him. He starts to sprint as fast as he can and only stops when he gets to the ambulance. He feels all the air leave his body when he sees he was right. It was Changbin. And Jisung next to him. But something is wrong. Changbin is bleeding. So is Jisung. They’re both unconscious with an oxygen mask strapped to their faces. Jeongin turns teary eyes to the paramedic, “Will they be okay?'' It isn’t until the paramedic blinks confusedly at him that he realizes he’s spoken in korean. He puzzles over the necessary english words before Chan repeats his question (in English) for him. The paramedic hesitates but he nods and then tells the other seven boys which hospital Jisung and Changbin will be going to. Chan starts to grab his keys to drive before Woojin shakes his head, “You’re shaking too much. I’ll call my host family and ask one of them to drive us,” he explains. 

The ride to the hospital is spent in a tense and uncomfortable silence that’s only broken by one of the boys’ sniffles. Woojin had taken the front seat leaving Hyunjin, Felix, Seungmin, and Jeongin to the middle with Minho and Chan sharing the backseat. Jeongin spent the drive texting his mom to update her as he heard Chan dialing a number. “Chan hyung, who are you calling?” Hyunjin questions innocently. “Changbin and Jisung’s parents,” the older whispers quietly. Immediately the already somber mood in the car drops even more. How do you tell someone their babies were in danger? That their precious sons were in a hospital fighting for their lives because some awful person with a gun decided to cut their fragile tethers to lives short? That they may not even be there in their child’s final moments because they were halfway across the world from each other. 

“Hi, Mrs. Seo,” Chan starts softly, “are you sitting down? I have some bad news… There was-there was a shooting at the-at school. Changbin and J-jisung were b-both hurt… They’ve been rushed to the hospital but we d-don’t know anything yet. The r-rest of us are fine,” he stays on the line for a few more minutes before hanging up. For some reason making the call a second time hurts worse. But still with a heavy heart he dials Jisung’s mother’s number, “Hi, Mrs. Han… Something happened,” Chan startles as he hears the woman’s immediate dismal saying she was busy, “something happened with Jisung,” he clarifies and goes on when it’s clear the woman is paying attention, “T-there was a-a shooting. J-Jisung and Changbin were injured but we don’t know anything else yet. We’re on the way to the hospital now,” Chan hears the woman inhale sharply on the other end of the phone before she says she would book the soonest flight out and ending the call. 

They get to the hospital at 12:41 p.m. Chan walks all of them up to the receptionist's desk, barely holding together but needing answers, “Changbin Seo. Jisung Han. They were brought in about thirty minutes ago. Are they okay?” Chan’s breath is panicky and his words are a bit hard to understand but Jeongin commends him for stepping up: he’s not sure he could even get English out at this point. The lady at the desk hums, “Relationship to the victims?” Woojin shoulders his way up front to answer this time, “We’re friends. We’re all foreign exchange students. Our families are all across seas. Please at least tell us if they’re okay,” Jeongin’s hyung begs. The reciptinsit smiles sympathetically, “I’m sorry, but I can’t. You’re not immediate family,” at this Chan and Woojin both let out an impressive string of korean expletives and Felix let out a harsh sob. 

They waited for about fourteen hours, in that time both Changbin and Jisung’s parents had arrived. A haggard looking doctor finally walked into the waiting room at about five in the morning, “Family of Changbin Seo?” Jeongin cringed at the doctor's mispronunciation of his friend’s name but hurried up anyways. “I’m his mother! How’s my baby?” the stout woman in front of Jeongin demands. The doctor glances at the huddle of people and begins, “A bullet went through his chest and nicked his lungs before exiting through his back. We stitched him up, but he’s currently still attached to a breathing machine and unconscious. He’ll be fine,” the doctor smiled gently at them all and Jeongin feels his legs shake, _Changbin’s okay,_ next to him Changbin’s mom sinks to her knees and chants praises in korean. Everyone pauses as Jisung’s harried mother pushes her way to the front, “Is my baby okay?” she begs. The doctor frowns at the haggard woman, “I’m sorry I don’t know, I was only assigned to Changbin Seo’s case.” Immediately the mood drops, Changbin is okay but is Jisung? They agree to split off: Woojin, Hyunjin, and Felix go to see Changbin and the rest wait on Jisung.

Another hour passes before a female doctor walks out looking tired. “Relatives of Jisung Han?” Jisung’s mom jumps to her feet and rushes forward, “Me! I’m his mother! Please tell me my baby is okay! Please!” The doctor smiles gently, “He’s perfectly fine, he’s still sleeping but he’ll be fine. The bullet nicked an artery and caused some complications, but he’s completely fine, you can go see him now.” Like a magnet all the boys left follow the doctor into a hospital room. Jeongin perks up as he sees Woojin and realizes Changbin and Jisung got put in the same room. 

All of them sit in silence for about an hour before they hear soft groaning. Immediately Jisung’s mother starts cooing, “Come on baby. Wake up. Yeah that’s it, I’m here. Eomma’s here. That’s it baby, just open your eyes,” in a second the peace is broken as Jisung bolts up and starts tugging on his mom’s hand. “Hyung! Where’s hyung? Changbin hyung?!” Jisung’s mom makes gentle crooning noises as Chan moves out of the way so Jisung has a full glimpse of Changbin, the machines behind him are going insane. Changbin starts twitching due to all the noise. He sits up and Changbin’s mother burst into tears. Everyone huddles close to the two injured boys. The runion is euphoric. _They’re all okay_. 

After the tears have dried Woojin asks what happened. “Well uh… we were in the computer studio to remix some tracks, Hongjoong was in there too. The gunshot went off right next to us. By the time the warning went out it was too late…” here Changbin trails off and Jisung picks the story up, “The guy burst into the room. He was saying crazy shit y’know? Like completely out of pocket. Says he was purifying the school or some bullshit like that. He waved his gun around while demanding that we come out and Hongjoong grabbed our hands. We were all small enough to fit under the computer desks so we were hiding there, but it didn’t matter…” Changbin starts talking again, “He grabbed us all, y-yanked us out, had us s-stand in line exe-execution style. H-hongjoong was still holding our hands. And then… And then he shot at us. He hit Hongjoong first, right in between the eyes. He shot Ji-Jisung n-next. He went down so h-hard I thought he’d n-never get up a-again. He smiled at me t-then and said-he said ‘you’ll be the last. You’ll die knowing your friends suffered.’ Then he laughed and shot me. It hurt so _bad._ But I had to check on the others: J-Jisung was on the g-ground but he was still b-breathing, we think-we think Hongjoong died immediately or at least-at least almost immediately. I really hope he didn’t suffer…” By the time Changbin had finished the whole room was crying and Jisung and Changbin’s heart monitors were going crazy, so much so that a doctor rushed into the room. After that was settled all the boys cuddled together as the parents watched. 

After a day things had started to settle down. Jisung’s mom had just stepped outside the room to talk with the doctor but his dad was still curled up on his son’s bed, cradling the boy to his chest. Likewise Changbin was cradled tightly between both his mom and his dad as they murmur in gentle korean to him. It’s a sobering reminder of what they almost lost. Everything is quiet until Minho speaks, voice as gentle as always but with a brittleness that had never been there before, “Seonghwa asked me to come to the service,” and here everything pauses as reality sets in again. They almost lost each other. _They almost lost each other._ “I was close with Wooyoung. I’ll go with you hyung, promise,” Changbin says into the deathly silent room. His mom jostles the boy gently before cooing, “Ah our precious Changbinnie.” Jisung snorts and it’s only a few seconds before the rest are laughing full out. The laughter only dwindles down when Jisung hisses as his stitches are pulled and Changbin leans over to (gently) smack him seemingly forgetting his own injuries. It feels nice. It feels normal. And Jeongin knows it’s not. Knows they have leaps and bounds to get back to any semblance of normal. But for now Jeongin basks in this. Even though they’re in the hospital while Changbin and Jisung recover he’s relishing in the fact they _are_ recovering, that he doesn’t have to tearfully attend one of his closest friend’s funerals (like poor Jongho) and while he did lose people for right now he focuses on Jisung’s vague lemon scent he thought he would never smell again, Seungmin’s slightly wheezy breath do to his asthma Jeongin didn’t think he’d ever miss, Minho’s (albeit weak) sarcastic quips that stung in the best ways Jeongin used to pretend to hate but can’t live without, Woojin and Chan’s overbearing mothering that has the others complaining but something that was sorely missed during those moments of terror, Felix’s weird ass dance moves, Changbin’s (occasionally smothering) skinship even as they all squeeze themselves together at the thought of what could have been lost, and Hyunjin holding him as tight as he physically can because he couldn't when the first shot was fired.

**Author's Note:**

> Gun violence is something that needs to be talked about and dealt with. Comments and kudos give me life.
> 
> [Buy me a coffee?](https://ko-fi.com/alexiscato)


End file.
